I work with many clients to find new relationships or improve their current relationship. It is one of those areas of life that is challenging to all of us at some point, and yet is absolutely one of the most important. We are relational beings and sharing our experiences is deeply fulfilling and essential for us.
Personally I have been married and divorced, and had a number of long and short term relationships, so I have certainly been there and got the t-shirt!
Here are my three top tips to being happy and fulfilled in your love relationship:
1. Take responsibility for your feelings. The idea that our parter’s job is to make us happy is a false expectation and leads to disappointment. Of course abuse of any kind must not be tolerated. However it is your job to make yourself happy and then meet your partner from that place. No one outside of yourself has the power to make you consistently happy.
2. Learn to communicate well. Communication is key in relationships. So often we communicate from a place of fear or anger and our message is not received in the way we’d like it to be, because our emotion has taken over, prompting an equally emotional response in the other. Wherever possible take some time to calm down and process your feelings before embarking on a difficult conversation.
3. Let go of winning. When one or both parties are dead set on winning arguments or debates, everybody loses. It’s about finding understanding and empathy for each other, even when you have a difference of opinion. From that place you can move forward and find a solution that will work for both of you.
Written by Gemma Ford